The Brand
DESIGNED FOR
THE UNAPOLOGETIC.
We make holiday objects for people who've earned the right to find something funny.
Holiday Objects
for Adults.
DICKMASTREE™ started with a simple question: why does holiday décor have to be earnest? Why the same ceramic reindeer, the same pine-scented candles, the same objects that embarrass no one and surprise no one?
We make limited-edition holiday model trees where the branches are styled as penises. That's the product. It's right there in the name. We're not hiding it. We're not apologizing for it. We're pricing it like art because that's how it's made.
Each piece is cast in matte resin, finished by hand, and ships in unmarked packaging. Some editions are numbered. Some are crimson. Some come gift-boxed. All of them are designed to be placed on a shelf, glanced at by a dinner guest, and either ignored or acknowledged — both outcomes acceptable.
"Design-forward first.
Joke second."
We're a seasonal brand. We drop once a year, when it makes sense. We don't have a permanent storefront. We don't do half-price post-holiday clearance. When it's gone, it's gone.
If you found us, you probably already know whether this is for you.
TREE
Hand Finished
Ships Discretely
Limited Drop
Future Vision
The Archive Plan
Five years. One drop per year. A collector's archive by Year Five.